So much still.

I was finishing up my senior year of college and was having one of those "I'm not sure I'm up for this whole adulthood thing" days.  I was mentally juggling an internship, final exams, a new relationship, moving and preparing for a full-time gig in corporate America that was waiting for me post-graduation.  My twenty one year old brain was on overdrive.  (In hindsight I probably could have used a few counseling sessions, but therapy wasn't really a thing in the late 90's and I didn't have the money back then to afford it anyway.)

What I did have however, was Patti, a dear childhood friend of my aunts who had known me since I was born.  Patti lived a short drive from my school and had just given birth to a baby girl.  I had always admired her for her professional success, quick wit, and the fact that she had a hot husband with shaggy blonde hair who built custom canoes for a living.

Yes please.

She's also great company and one hell of a good time.  I called her up to ask if I could come by to visit with the new baby, but truthfully...I just wanted to talk. 

We sat and chatted in the kitchen of her charming lake house in the White Mountains for a couple of hours.  We covered all the major bases - relationships, work, school, marriage and babies.  I told her I didn't want to make the wrong decision about what would come next.  Should I leave New Hampshire?  Who would I live with?  Is this new job really the right fit for me?  Etc.  I told her I was scared to screw up what I knew was a pivotal time in my life.  She let me finish and when I was done she smiled and said:

"You know how everyone tells you life is short?  It's not.  Life is very long.  I feel like I have already lived so many different lives, and now I am starting a new one.  Don't look at all of this as some sort of final decision.  There is so much life still for you to live."

Why would I ever pay for therapy when I had Patti right down the road?  Her words centered me and helped me frame the seemingly huge decisions I was about to make as simply what they were - the decisions I was making for that time in my life...not for the rest of it.

Today I can feel Patti's words more than ever.  In fact, I am about the same age she was when we had that visit in her kitchen nearly twenty years ago.  I now fully relate to the idea of living a handful of mini-lifetimes inside of one larger life.  Not only was there so much still to come for me, but it turns out there was actually more than I ever thought possible. 

This past month I found myself at an adulting crossroads.  I was presented with an opportunity for change that took me outside my comfort zone and demanded I put my big girl pants on.  So I did.  And while I waded through the uncomfortable feelings that always accompany a potential change I tried to remember the peace I felt that day when I learned there is not one single decision to be made...but rather there will always be another decision to make.

It's never too late.  There is more time still.  And that is a great thing.

There is time to make a different judgement call.  

There is time to reassess our priorities.  

There is time to explore an underdeveloped aspect of ourselves. 

There is time to take up a new hobby.  

There is time to go back to school.  

There is time to change your mind.

There is time to change jobs.

There is time to say you're sorry.

There is time to fall in love again.  

There will be another season to watch the first green signs of spring appear and the last orange leaves of autumn fall.  

There will be another night to watch the sun set and the moon rise.  

So don't stress.

There is so much life still for you to live. 

xo - juli