An Honest Habit.

I can’t believe how long it's been since my last blog entry.  This can only mean one of two things:

1. I have nothing left to say (anyone who knows me would agree this is highly unlikely).
2. I have been out of my mind busy.

I think it is a hybrid of the two potential causes above combined with the truth that when you are constantly feeding one thing, chances are pretty good something else is starving.  For the last few months I have been feeding my career as I transitioned through a change and as a result, the fun writing I so enjoy has starved for a bit.

Along with just about everything else in my life.
  
I have been putting all my energy into figuring out what my new normal will look like.  I've asked myself questions like:

 - How will I manage my time on the off weeks I'll be working from home?  

 - How will I juggle the kid/family schedule when I am not there to take care of things in person?  

 - How am I supposed to replenish the paper towels, juice boxes and cat food if I’m in Chicago?

I didn’t have the answers, but then, when I started this new job I didn’t know what changes would trip me up the most.  I did know one thing however, my "new normal" would involve lots of airplanes and hotel rooms.  I knew from past experience with business travel that if I was going to be a frequent flier, I would need to set some good habits in place from the start.  I would need guidelines to help me avoid getting depressed about being away from my family, having daily hangovers and gaining twenty pounds.  I would need to lay down some new habits.

They were admittedly a little rough in the beginning, but they went something like this:

Juli's Guidelines for Maintaining a Shred of Sanity While Spending Half Her Life on Business Travel

• Resist the urge to buy a new celebrity rag every time you walk into an airport.  They're expensive and essentially junk food for your brain.
• No alcohol on the road.  Yes, you read that right.  (This guideline exists for oh-so-many reasons but primarily because I need to be on my A-Game for work).
• Exercise every day if possible (this habit is for mental health first, physical health second).  
• If there is any “me time” left over I will spend it reading, not watching TV.
• Avoid eating dinner in restaurants.  Plan meals ahead (so far "planning ahead" has meant eating an apple from H-Mart and a package of Funny Bones in bed while answering emails).  I justify this as still being better than eating out.  As I type this I'm thinking this guideline could use some fine tuning.

does the fake peanut butter count as nutrition?

Doesn’t life on the road sound like a total drag?  Guess what?  It isn't.  

I miss my family a ton (this is another post entirely), but it's positively dreamy to sleep a full uninterrupted eight hours every night in a huge bed with fresh sheets and way too many pillows.  I wake up to a peaceful shower and hot coffee waiting for me when I come downstairs.  To me, the Hampton Inn every other week feels like some sort of rehabilitation center for women in their late 30’s.  Say what you want, I like it there.

After three weeks on the job I am pleased to report my new travel habits seem to be working out pretty well.  My home office habits on the other hand, leave a lot to be desired.  For the last two days I have found myself eating ice cream out of the carton at three in the afternoon.  

This can't continue.

I also realized quickly that my home office life of conference calls and no in-person meetings means my physical appearance is less important.  Which means showering is kinda optional.  It wasn’t long before I started to feel generally gross and started the habit of getting up, getting clean and getting some eyeliner on.  If I’m having trouble mustering the ambition to execute I have found taking an unflattering selfie (sans filter) is usually enough to get my ponytail-rocking, no-bra-wearing self upstairs and into the shower.  

The one habit I am working the hardest to establish however, is probably the most challenging.  Yet it's critical to the success of all the others.
  
Part of my commitment to read more books while on the road led me to Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton.  This book is powerful and inspiring (not to mention the most beautifully written and utterly raw memoir I have ever read).

READ. THIS. BOOK.

  

Glennon talks about making a habit of “living on the surface” as much as possible.  Not surface in a shallow sense, but in the exact opposite sense actually.  She talks about showing the truth about who we are, and making our vulnerable, honest self as visible as possible to the people we encounter.  She argues that is the only way to have healthy, authentic and successful human relationships.

Her book helped me see this is also the only way to truly break old habits and establish new ones.  For us to live as close to the surface of ourselves as we can bear.  To own our truth and see ourselves as the broken, beautiful, messy people we are.  To resist squinting a little to tweak the image, but rather to force ourselves to stare and say “Hi Self.  It’s okay that you are *XYZ* (fill in the blank with whatever your crap may be... god knows I've got plenty of my own material).  I love you anyway. Now stop all the punishing and get to the more important business of doing something about it.”

Start from there.  Make a few small, gentle changes, that will eventually take root and grow into bigger ones.    

Break some old shitty habits because you deserve the freedom that comes with living on the surface.  Because you are absolutely and without question worth it.  Because people will find it easier to relate to the honest version of you.  Because we are all a little broken.  And because rolling through life as the most authentic version of who we truly are is, well, just a good habit.

{and happy fall by the way!  xo - juli}