a vacation from your problems.

HAPPY 2015!

I hope you are all starting the new year off on the right foot!  If your house is anything like mine you have been starting the year off on a sick foot - so here's to hoping the rest of 2015 is healthier than the beginning!

If you've been reading along for these past few years you will know I don't make resolutions for many reasons...the primary one being I'm not in the market for new ways to feel bad about myself.  I know damn well I'm not going to:

1)  Eat a paleo diet.  I tried (for like five minutes) and failed.
2)  Quit Facebook.  I tried...and went back.
3)  Exercise every day.  I tried and failed.  For like 37 years.
4)  Give up alcohol and/or sugar.  I tried and failed.
5)  Remember to take my makeup off before bed.  I keep trying.  I keep failing.

Since I already know I'm not going to do any of the things above that I actually should do - what's left?  I thought about giving up gambling - but since I don't gamble I'm not sure what the net gain would really be there.

On the more serious side of things, I have officially decided that for me, 2015 is going to be the year of minimizing problems.  It's not really a resolution, but more of a theme.  I'm splitting hairs here I know - I'll explain.

A few weeks ago, my husband and I were fortunate enough to get away for five days to Harbour Island, Bahamas where we attended a (killer) wedding.  Harbour Island is the kind of place where everything looks like a Microsoft Windows screensaver.

{I'm not kidding.}

About one day into our vacation I started feeling a little disoriented and confused - not myself.  I thought maybe it was the travel (or the booze) but quickly realized what the real issue was.

I didn't have any problems to solve.

I am always reluctant to define anything in my life as a "real problem".  So before I begin sounding like a Kardashian I would like to qualify this post by saying I count my blessings my chickens and my sheep regularly.  I know how lucky I am...but as my wise Mom told me many years ago "everyone's problems are real to them."

Some problems are big:

• Serious illness
• Money
• Divorce
• Food insecure (I learned this is the new term for hungry after reading this completely eye-opening article about The New Face of Hunger in Nat Geo.  Worth your time - I promise.)

Some problems are global/colossal:

• ISIS
• Climate Change (I'm going to stop here. This list would be insanely depressing - check cnn if you'd like more).

Some problems are small:

• Hairdresser switched salons and the new location isn't as convenient.
• The car is full of groceries and it's sleeting out. 
• The light fixture you want is back-ordered and won't be available for 14 weeks.
• Your husband finds out he has to work on NYE day but you had plans to take a day trip to Simon Pearce.

{*note:  All small problems are loosely based on my own recent personal experiences that have made me feel like the most lousy, spoiled rotten brat ever for even classifying as a "problem".}

There are everything-in-between problems.  These are work problems, personal problems, car problems, house problems.

Then, of course, kid problems - which are really in a class all their own:

• Sick child (My personal favorite - throw in some asthma for extra fun!)
• Childcare or lack thereof (Otherwise known as the story of my life).
• Logistics/scheduling (Are you picking them up or am I?  Did you call the school? etc).
• Behavioral (Is that normal?  Do other people's kids do that?)
• Nutritional (Is it okay to give her gummies for breakfast if she eats a banana first?)
• Educational (Mom is apparently not smart enough to help you with your second grade Math homework).

Everyone has problems to solve.  If we didn't have them it would probably mean we don't have a whole hell of a lot going on...which would just be boring.  What I realized in my five precious days away however, is that I am in an almost constant state of problem solving. 

My mind is working overtime every day, all day (and often night), to anticipate potential problems and solve them before they strike.  The blender in my brain is constantly swirling with a mix of nearly all the problem categories listed above.  I am so used to this way of thinking that when faced with five days of problem-free living I literally felt confused.  BUT I LIKED IT.  

Since no life is without it's challenges (and since we can't always be on vacation), I started thinking about ways to shut down those little problems that can create big noise.  Here's what I've got so far:

• Avoiding problematic situations. EXAMPLE:  Not over-scheduling my family so much that weekends become rushed, unenjoyable and one giant logistics exercise.
• Practice "turning problems around". EXAMPLE: Reminding myself how great it is to have access to fresh food, and not having to stress about how I will pay for it instead of complaining about unloading a car full of groceries.
• Eliminating problems entirely. EXAMPLES:  Cancelling cable, trading in an old car for a newer one, fixing the broken door that never shuts correctly, waking up a half hour earlier so there's enough time to dry my hair, make coffee and STILL be on time for work.

So much of life is out of our control - and those big problems that require our immediate and undivided attention can come around uninvited and unexpectedly.  The joke is on me if I choose to spend this time when everyone is employed and healthy and young and happy worrying about how Comcast is trying to screw us for a movie we rented and paid for but the OnDemand wasn't even working that night.

{how awesome is this?}

I invite you to do the same.  Much like Dr. Leo Marvin did for Bob Wiley in "What About Bob?" (arguably the most important film of all time), I am writing you a prescription to take a holiday from the noise.  I invite you to "take a vacation from your problems".  The problems that prevent you from keeping your focus on the things that really matter...like YOU.

And now, I'll close with some final words from Bob:

Dr. Leo Marvin:  Are you married?
Bob Wiley:  I'm divorced.
Dr. Leo Marvin:  Would you like to talk about that?
Bob Wiley:  There are two types of people in this world:  Those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don't.  My ex-wife loves him.

Enjoy your vacation everyone.  xo