the head stand.

I used to question women who said "My child is my greatest teacher".  The grad student in me thought: 'Get a life lady.  If your three-year old is your greatest teacher then maybe you need to switch schools.'  It humbles me to say I am becoming one of "those" women.  Honestly, if it weren't for my seven-year old son, I may never have grown up at all.

That very same thinks-he's-wicked-cool-going-into-second-grade son was showing off like seven-year olds do.  He was trying to do a head stand (yes, a head stand) on a basketball court and wasn't exactly able to pull it off.  The result of this failed attempt was minor road rash from his chin to his forehead and every facial part in between.  It was a totally sad/cute/endearing/non-life threatening kid injury.  While I felt sorry for him I was mostly grateful for the safety lesson he had learned...I was also happy he didn't knock out his two front teeth.  

Once the dust settled and the antibiotic ointment was applied we all re-grouped and tucked ourselves in for another night of summer slumber.  The following morning my scab-covered  boy was up for absolutely nothing.  He was tired, sore and (I speculate) embarrassed about his physical appearance.  I took one look at him and gave him permission to take it easy for the day and generally avoid contact with the outside world.  

While cancelling his commitments for that day it was suggested to me that I was more concerned with the cosmetic effects of the accident rather than the medical aspect of his scrape.  My initial reaction was to become defensive.  I was NOT worried about his looks.  I was ONLY concerned about his well being and health...you know, the same way a doctor would be.  How dare someone suggest I was concerned with his "beauty", as it was put.

After I had a chance to cool off and put my bruised ego aside I was able to be honest with myself.  I absolutely do think his little face is beautiful - the same way every mom in the world feels when she looks at her child.  And I am, after all, the same girl who has an Instagram profile that reads like this: 

"Amateur blogger.  Lover of all things beautiful (including but not limited to) New Hampshire, gardens, junk art, books, lipstick, barns and people."

I also belong to a committee in my town that is actually called the "Beautification Committee" (we plant flowers around town and decorate for holidays and whatnot).  So you see, the irony of this situation was not lost on me.

Here I am a self-proclaimed lover of all things beautiful, but I couldn't admit to feeling that my own son was one of them.  Why did the accusation of being concerned with beauty make me feel so superficial and character lacking?  Why do I go out of  my way to create as much beauty as possible in my home and in my life anyway? 

I've spent the last week kicking those questions around in my mind and I think I may have an answer.  My truth is that this world and this life are not always beautiful.  Things like war, neglect, hunger, abuse and loneliness are very real evidence of that.  Whether we like it or not there are daily reminders of ugly human behavior all around us (even if you don't watch FOX News).  If we don't let the beauty of life and people fill up most of the space inside of us other things will find a way to creep in and fill that space.

So I have slowly and maybe subconsciously elected to focus on the beauty.  That's not to say I don't acknowledge, respect and sometimes experience the things that happen in this world that are often out of our control.  It just means that when I have the opportunity to create or enjoy the beauty of life I jump at it.  

I try to fill my space up with the way my moms eyes look when she laughs, or the way my daughters hair is a rat nest when she wakes up in the morning.  When someone holds the door open for someone else when they are walking into the pharmacy, when the sky is pink at dusk, when we share a meal with friends, when the birds are chirping out my window before I open my eyes, when the very first signs of Spring appear or the very first snow of Winter falls.

Beautiful.  All of it (including my sons scratched up, banged up face).  

Summer really lends itself to beauty in nature.  You would actually have to try pretty hard to avoid the beauty this time of year brings.  Take as much of it in as you possibly can.  And if you have the opportunity to create something beautiful for someone else, take it - because the world really is so beautiful and life really is so short.